imwalde: (Veronica/Hurt)
[personal profile] imwalde
Just found out from [livejournal.com profile] sammka that the guy who founded CTY, Julian Stanley, has died. And this is weird, because for whatever strange cosmic coincidental reason, I've probably talked more about CTY in the past couple of days than I have in years.

CTY, if you've never heard of it, is essentially nerd camp. And I loved EVERY. FREAKIN'. SECOND. (I attended Carlise, first session, in 1994, 1995, and 1996, for those of you who are remotely interested.) It was, in my life to that point, the best thing that ever happened to me. It literally changed me, in that it changed how I perceived myself. I first attended the summer before 8th grade. Until that point, I was "the smart girl," both to myself and to others. It was the only sense of identity that I had. I went to a teeeeenie middle school, and I was literally the only girl in some of my advanced math and science classes.

Everyone who attends CTY is smart. And there were lots of girls there. So, suddenly (and wonderfully, as it turns out), I had to find and forge a new identity for myself. So I did. I was known as "Sunshine Girl" because I wore feathers in my hair (not every day, but a few times) and I'm normally happy. Obnoxiously peppy, some might say. :) I found out, hey, I'm social, and I'm pretty good at the talking-to-all-kinds-of-people-and-getting-along thing. And I like dancing! Who knew? Not me, before CTY!

The camp is accepting, so accepting, of smart kids in all their awkwardness and weirdness and individuality and desire to figure themselves out, and CTY is the best environment for that I can possibly think of. You could try on whatever identity you wanted, all while surrounded by kids just like you, and taking classes on subjects you wanted to with kids just like you. It was heaven. People dye their hair all kinds of crazy colors, or girls shave their heads, or there are boys in skirts, and it's all just accepted with nary a raised eyebrow. I mean, the camp director performed in drag every year!

No matter how alone you felt at your school, you could find people with your interests. And better yet, there were not just smart people there, but smarter! This was an unpleasant reality to some, but liberating for me. I was nowhere near the smartest kid at this camp, what a relief! It's TIRING to always be expected to know everything, but up until that point, it had been possible to know everything (or so it seemed) and so I thought I should know everything. But, then when I got to camp and realized, wow, that is so far from possible, and it sort of sunk in that no one expected that from me.

I have such fond memories. It was awesome. Life-changing. I went back to school (which I hated socially) with a different viewpoint and confidence in myself (with regards to more than my brain). I made great friends, some of whom I kept in touch with for years afterward. If y'all ever happen to read this, I miss you guys -- Rita, Terry, Jen, JenL, Jenna, Irene, Kristen, Ken, Ben, Effie, Pat, and of course Lacey and Jennie.

Here's to you, Dr. Stanley. I love the passionfruit.

Date: 2005-08-19 04:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiurin.livejournal.com
I hope they bring passionfruit bottles to the funeral.

Date: 2005-08-19 05:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imwalde.livejournal.com
Hee, me too. And I'm only sort of kidding. I bet his family would have NO idea what was going on, but it's the most fitting tribute we could give him.

Date: 2005-08-20 04:00 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Wow. I now really wish I had had the opportunity to go to something like this. This is the shamoogity, btw. I'm on a strange computer and it's not letting me sign in.

Date: 2005-08-20 05:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] imwalde.livejournal.com
I really can't say enough good things. I wrote my college entrance essay about CTY! I think it really is the social atmosphere that's the most amazing thing. There are some kids there who are home schooled or are several grade above their contemporaries, and CTY is the first place they really make friends, it's so cool. So there's plenty of weirdness going on, but everyone's attitude is kind of, "Oh. Ok. Whatever floats your boat!" It was just plain awesome.

If you ever have kids, send them!

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