a letter

[imwalde]

Dear Hilary Duff,

You know, I don't hate you. I might after a few more years with this level of exposure, but I don't at the moment. In fact, I think you're cute and harmless. And I really like the song "So Yesterday" (bought it from iTunes) and will not change the radio station if "Come Clean" is on. Not bad.

I don't begrudge you a music career, despite your limited talents, because I think that you (or your producers) are aware of your musical shortcomings and have proportionately moderate expectations, and make pop choices based on your limited range and what your voice is suited for. (Unlike say, Lindsay Lohan and the song "Over" which is all wrong for her voice, and as a result doesn't work at all.)

But now there's a problem in the form of "Wake Up," your new single. BECAUSE THIS SONG IS HORRIBLE AND NEEDS TO DIE. It's like the person writing the music was given the instructions, "Ok, this chick has a limited range, so let's only have notes between middle C and G. And let's only have the notes be sequential to each other SO THAT IT'S BOTH BLAND AND BORING AND AWFUL AND YET INNOVATIVELY TERRIBLE AND IT WILL FILL MOLLY WITH AN IMPOTENT RAGE."

Because, Hill, there's playing to your strengths by tailoring songs to your range and voice, and then there's "Wake Up" which MAKES ME DIE A LITTLE INSIDE.

love, Molly

Comments

[cleapet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I actually saw the video the other day and thought "well, hey, it might be a nice catchy tune" but it's not even that. She doesn't have a large repertoire of poses either so her smiling at the camera every 10 seconds got really old. But she's still endearing because she's just so darn cute.

[imwalde.livejournal.com]

That she is. But no amount of cuteness could help that song. Not even the good people at Sanrio (http://www.sanrio.com) could work that kind of magic.

[cleapet.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, that's really cute. That sort of cuteness is beyond my comprehension capabilities so, no, she's not that cute.

[imwalde.livejournal.com]

Heh, have you seen this? (http://store.yahoo.com/sanriostore/51505.html) Covet!